Martyr
by Oirowin
Summary: Minerva fell to her knees amongst her ruined house. There were precious few things left they could do. Moody gripped her shoulder as she wept. Warnings: slash, language, angst, death


A cloaked man traveled a darkened path along the trees. The moon was faint and the stars blinked as thin clouds moved across the night sky. The man pulled his hood closer, it was a breezy night. As the trees banked to the left, the man's destination was revealed. He stood at the end of a street filled with little brick houses and a few broken streetlamps. The old mill tower blocked out the horizon, shadowing the little house the man recognized so well. It was a place he had always known he was safe.

He wasn't safe anymore.

The shadows camouflaged him as he scampered across the desolate street to the front door. He entered slowly, wand raised. The entryway was empty, he was alone. Still cloaked, he rushed through the familiar layout of his house on Spinner's End grabbing the small things he couldn't leave behind. He was halfway under the gently used bed, digging for a vial he had hidden there many years ago, when his worst fear echoed through the walls. He stopped moving and aimed his good ear towards the door. Another knock sounded.

He crept out of the bedroom and blocked his mind, a first line of defense. He gripped his wand tighter as the unknown visitor knocked a third time. Helplessly, he watched the doorknob turn and felt the night air seep in.

"Severus?"

He shoved his wand in his pocket and stepped into his guest's view.

"What the hell are you doing here, Draco?"

The Slytherin smiled. "No hello?"

"Why aren't you with Amycus and the others?"

"They left me behind."

Snape glared at the blond invader. "Don't lie to me."

Draco swallowed before opening his mouth again. "I wanted to know what you were doing."

"You shouldn't have come here Draco!"

Severus pushed the boy against the door he had entered. "You should have done as I said."

"You're not the boss of me," he hissed despite Snape's arm across his throat.

"Forgive me," he said, backing away from his former student. "Lord Voldemort is your master now. Get out of my sight."

"What are you doing?"

"Get out!"

Draco vanished.

"Damn it," Severus said under his breath. He continued to throw things into his bag, topping it off with a loaf of bread and some canned vegetables.

"Colloportus," he spoke into the night, sealing the door from the outside.

He took one last look at his former haven before vanishing.

A grey eyed man stared at the sliver of the moon from his bed. He felt no fear. There were too many other things to fear besides the celestial light. A war had begun. A battle of good and evil, of friends and foes.

He heard a whisper of bare feet at his door. It was the woman he should love. Her frame was frail and her hair was still the mousy brown of depression.

"Remus?"

He accepted her frame in his arms. Her hand fell to his chest, her head felt perfect on his shoulder. He wished he could love her.

"Are you afraid?"

He felt the pain of those words. "Not tonight."

Her shoulders relaxed against his arm and her breathing soon became rhythmic. Remus placed a kiss on her forehead before returning to the moon.

Severus walked to the edge of the hill he arrived on. A small town was spread out below him. Cozy brick houses with stone chimneys and tiny gardens laced the main road. The moon was slowly fading from the sky and morning was soon to come. With time to spare, he sat down and pulled out his loaf of bread, watching the sun rise.

Remus felt Tonks stir next to him and snapped his eyes closed. He felt her gaze on his face and her soft lips on his cheek before she slipped from his arm. Her bare feet pattered back out the door and down the stairs. He sighed and opened his eyes; the morning was grey with clouds. He heard a small clatter and guessed she was making coffee. Remus wanted to slip under the covers and never wake up. He wanted everything back to normal.

It would be hard to find the words tonight, the words to make fear a reality. Words were all he was thinking of. How to say things he would have gladly never have to say. The smell of coffee detached him from his thoughts.

"Good morning," Tonks yawned.

"Morning."

He took the mug she held out to him.

"You didn't sleep last night," she sad matter-of-factly.

"Yes I did."

"I didn't either."

Remus sighed into his mug and wished he wasn't so annoyed with her.

As the sun began to set, Severus made his way into the town. He kept his hood up and his head down as he passed tiny shops and a few homes. He heard a faint pop behind him and nearly stopped to view the wizard or witch who had arrived. Instead, he closed his mind and continued to walk, hoping they would pass him.

His heart fluttered when he discovered there were two; Minerva McGonagall and Arthur Weasley. Nonchalantly, he slipped onto the nearest side street and waited for their voices to fade into the distance. Severus decided to linger until a wizard or witch passed that he didn't know before setting out again. The meeting place must be close.

A small man with very little hair passed the street a few moments later. He seemed to be alone and Severus followed.

The small two story house at the end of the row was the place. Every now and then he could see another pair or trio enter the front door. Severus followed the old man into the home and was glad to see it dimly lit.

The gathering room was silent and flickering with candlelight. The shadows were growing taller as the candles melted away. Some stood in corners, trying to hide from the glow, while others sat on the mismatched furniture, their faces veiled by the reflection of light. Severus took up an unoccupied corner and waited.

Few people spoke. He recognized Molly Weasley's shrill voice and the raspy voice of Alastor Moody. Both put him on edge. He slunk deeper into his shadow and made sure to seal his mind. Severus began to get nervous as he became aware of more people who would be detrimental to his cover. There, in the corner opposite himself, was a pair of green eyes he never wanted to see again. Harry Potter stared blankly at the crowd, Severus hoped he wouldn't look too closely. He straightened his back and griped his wand unconsciously tighter.

"My fellow witches and wizards," a beckoning voice proclaimed. "You all are here for some speech of hope. Some semblance of comfort. I am sorry to say, those words would be lies."

Severus recognized the voice. It was tainted with hope yet masked with despair. He licked his lips.

"The war has begun," the speaker began again. "And there have been…casualties on both sides."

The room hung their heads and Severus felt a small pang of guilt. He had been the cause of the entire room's pain. Deep inside his miserably black heart, he felt a sense of pride, of accomplishment. Revenge was almost always bittersweet.

The speaker continued with words of hope and power. Severus nearly wanted to vomit. He watched the crowd's reactions. In doing so he spotted many other people he knew; Granger sat next to Potter, Slughorn held himself up in the doorway to the kitchen, and Flitwick stood nearest to Severus. What he wouldn't give to jump out of the darkness and frighten them all.

"I call you now to fight. To raise your wands in the name of good, in the name of the ones you loved that you have lost, and in the name of the future."

The crowd mumbled a faint "here-here" before bustling around producing small talk. The room was gloomy and no one spoke very loud. Severus watched groups of people gather their things and slip out the door. Potter and his posse stayed in the corner diagonal from him while the Order seemed to meander into the kitchen.

The candles burned lower and the little light there was to begin with slowly faded. The young group in the corner continued to whisper and it was no sooner that the bushy-haired female lit her wand. Severus hunched away from the light. The only thing worse than the entire Order finding him would be the group of students crossing his path.

"Ron, dear," the shrill voice called from the kitchen. "Harry, Hermione. Time to go."

Severus held in a sigh of relief as Molly Weasley hustled the students into the kitchen to say goodbyes.

"Take care of yourself Remus," Mr. Weasley's said. Severus guessed they hugged before the door opened and shut once again. The room was quiet at last as McGonagall was the final Order member to slip into the night.

Snape followed Lupin's form across the room. He didn't look away when Remus caught his gaze.

"Who's there?"

Remus began to cross the room towards Severus's corner.

"I said who's there?"

Just as he reached for his wand, Severus stepped away from the shadows. Remus hid his shock as the tall dark figure of the former potions master appeared before him.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I assumed I could trust you."

"Trust me?" Lupin said, exasperated. "Trust me to do what? Not kill you? Not turn you loose amongst the Order?"

"All of the above."

The two men refused to blink. Remus continued to grip his wand while trying to hide his ever rising panic. Severus held his ground.

"I want to tell you the truth."

"The truth! The truth…Severus you _killed_ him!"

"There's no denying it."

"Get out of my house before I am forced to spell you!"

"Remus please, listen to me."

"No," Lupin said, stepping away from him. "No, get out."

Snape stepped forward and was met with the tip of Remus' wand.

"You have thirty seconds to get out and I won't tell a soul you were here."

"Lup—"

"Don't. Speak. Just get out."

Severus bowed slightly and vanished through the door. Remus fell onto the nearest piece of furniture as the door shut behind him. He tried to calm his shaking hands and reduce his heartbeat to a normal pace. His breathing slowly became normal once again and his panic faded into nothing.

Severus was livid as he stalked the night. He had apparated to a forest just outside of a more familiar village. Darkness lined the road he stormed down and the shadows whispered evil spells. Most of the houses were boarded up and the cobwebs had laced the windows. One lamp lit the road, it flickered and swayed in the wind.

Severus took a sharp right turn down a thin winding street towards a house that looked to be deserted for some time. As he passed the untrimmed shrubs, he felt the telltale tingle on his forearm. When he reached the rusted door, a small man peaked through the crack.

"Good evening, Severus," he squeaked.

"Shut up Wormtail," he said, bursting into the home.

"No, you can't go up there yet," the squat servant said as Snape began up the rickety stairs. "He said he would call for you."

"Of course."

Severus walked into adjacent room and poured himself a glass of whatever was in the bottle. He sipped it slowly and thought of the way he would present his findings.

The vermin returned. "He is ready for you."

Snape ascended the stairs with much confidence. The last door on the right was slightly ajar and he entered with his head up.

"Good evening, Severus," the snakelike voice hissed. "What do I owe the pleasure?"

"I have news from the Order."

"You made contact with the werewolf?"

"We had a spat and he wasn't as welcoming as I had expected. However, I managed to gather some information I would suppose to be interesting, my Lord."

Severus enjoyed spilling the Order's secrets. He lusted after that look in his master's eyes as he told him the detailed inside information. At the end, he cracked a venomous smile. Severus was proud.

"Excellent. My dear Severus you have done well, despite your utter failure at restoring your image amongst the Order."

"I am only a short distance from achieving that task. There is nothing to be worried about," he said with a slight bow.

"I don't want your excuses. I know you won't disappoint me."

Snape hid his look of disgust as he replied, "Never, my Lord."

Voldemort dismissed him with a nod.

"Will you be staying the night, Severus?"

"No," he said ignoring Wormtail's hospitality as he descended the stairs.

Snape grabbed his cloak in one sweeping motion before exiting the door. The hint of cold on the wind was comforting.

Starving, Remus' empty cupboards left him no choice but to resort to the torture called grocery shopping. Gathering his coat and wand, he locked the door and proceeded to street level where the sun barely peaked out from behind the clouds. He tucked his hands in his pockets, pulled his head down, and hurried to the market on the far corner of the town. Collecting just the basics, he paid in muggle coinage and left without a word to anyone.

Returning home, his senses were peaked. His own fear rose exponentially as he found his door slightly ajar. He had been found. _Oh God. _He pulled his wand from his inner pocked and dropped the groceries on the sidewalk. He forced his feet, one in front of the other, to move towards the cracked door. He gently pushed it open and it sighed a small creak. Remus held his breath as he crossed the threshold. Every spell he knew was flying through his mind.

"You really should spell your door shut Remus, any one could get through."

"Good god, Severus, you gave me a fucking heart attack! I thought you were you-know-who for heaven's sake!" he spat, not relieved at all.

He left to retrieve his food from his front yard and slammed the door behind him.

"I told you to leave," he said, carelessly putting his groceries in the kitchen. "That wasn't an invitation to come back later."

"I need to talk to you."

"I don't have to listen."

"Please," Severus said, grabbing Remus' arm as he burst out of the kitchen. "I just want the opportunity to explain myself."

Lupin pulled his arm free and glared into the dark eyes of the man he always loved to hate.

"I shouldn't be doing this," he said looking away.

"You're interested in what I have to say."

"No," he said, annoyed. "I want you to disappear so that I no longer have the temptation to rip your throat out."

Severus chuckled. "I never knew you to be so violent, Remus."

The werewolf was shocked at how he responded to the sound of his name.

"Times have changed."

The two stood silent, exchanging glances that neither one understood.

"You have ten minutes."

Severus held his devilish smile to himself and sat on the couch Remus gestured towards.

"What can you possibly say to make me believe that you didn't kill Albus?"

"I'm not going to try and make you believe that I didn't kill him, because Remus, I did."

"Bastard," he said, raising his voice. "How _could _you! How could you kill the one man who trusted you one-hundred percent? How could you backstab the only person in this _universe _who honestly gave a shit about your life?"

"It wasn't something I ever wanted to do, Remus," Severus continued, calmly. "It was something both of us knew had to be done. It wasn't a choice of whether to kill him and side with Voldemort or not kill him and side with the Order. There wasn't that kind of choice. It was kill him and stay hidden, or don't kill him and blow my cover. The cover that I have built for myself, the cover that _he_ built for me."

"So you're still playing both sides?" Remus asked, infuriated.

"No," Snape said. "I've never been 'playing both sides'. There has never been a time when my loyalty was not fully with the Order."

"You can't honestly expect me to believe that! You're a Death Eater, Severus!"

"I was, in the past, a Death Eater, and I regret my choice to become one to this very day," he retorted.

"I find it impossible to think that you have hidden your true motivations from Voldemort this entire time."

"And you suppose I could have hidden it from Dumbledore?"

Remus fell silent.

"You and I both know that Dumbledore was the greatest wizard to ever live. No one could hide anything from him."

Remus hated the way Snape was speaking in the past tense. It made it feel so much more real.

"Voldemort might not be the stronger wizard, but he wouldn't hesitate to use force. Even you can't survive the Cruciatus curse for long."

"Is there nothing I can say that will convince you?"

"I would highly doubt it."

"When did you grow so pessimistic and dry?"

"The day you took the only beacon that was left in this word away from us!"

Remus was standing. He could feel his face getting flushed, his hands were tense. He realized that he wouldn't hesitate to rip the man before him limb from limb. He couldn't stand the way he sat there, on his couch, looking so at ease. He couldn't understand why he didn't just pick up his wand and blow him to pieces.

"Why haven't you killed me?"

"I don't know," Remus spat. He hated that answer. There were many others that were so much better.

"I know you want to believe me. There's something there that simply knows it would be easier if what I said was true."

"I can't Severus! I can't sit here and comprehend the words that are spewing from your mouth! I can't take in the fact that you're sitting in my living room after you killed the one man who could have defeated the worst enemy the wizarding world has ever seen!"

"Don't you think I have to live with that every day! Don't you realize that this was not some happy task that I have been looking forward to?"

Remus snarled at the man in front of him. He wasn't allowed to feel remorse. He chose to kill Dumbledore.

"Your time is up."

Severus stood.

"Who are you going to call first?" he hissed. "McGonagall? I'd choose her."

Remus was caught off guard by the warmth of Severus' breath on his neck. He gritted his teeth and silently hated himself for whatever that feeling in his stomach was.

"Get out."

"Not until you believe me," Snape whispered.

"There aren't enough hours in a lifetime for you to wait."

Severus vanished.

Lupin stayed standing in the middle of his living room until Tonks entered the house and snapped him from his daze.

"What's wrong?" she asked, tenderly taking his hand.

"Just an unexpected guest. And old colleague, of my first job."

"You should have asked them to stay for dinner," Tonks said, smiling.

Remus shook his head in some apologetic way before breaking away from the woman who stood before him.

Severus burst through the door, knocking Wormtail to the floor. He stormed up the stairs despite the whines of the rat on the floor. The door he had last walked through was not ajar this time. That didn't stop him.

"Severus," Voldemort said. "What do I owe this spontaneous arrival?"

"The wolf is being difficult," he boomed, pacing.

"Are you making excuses?"

"Never, my Lord."

"Then I don't understand why you're here. Are you expecting to fail?"

"I'm not going to _fail_ you, my Lord. I just do not see the reason for my continued double-life."

"Do not challenge me," Voldemort bellowed.

Severus stopped pacing.

"You have proven yourself time and time again. I would hate for you to ruin it."

"I would never."

"Good, now get out."

"Yes my Lord."

Severus bowed lower than before and exited the room. He nearly hit Wormtail in the face; the small man had been trying to eavesdrop.

"Disgusting."

Peter Pettigrew cowered at the potion's master words.

"W-will you b-be staying the n-n-night?"

"No," Severus bellowed, bursting into the dark air.

Lupin sat up in bed. The air had changed. The thin curtains were blowing and there was a metallic scent wafting through the screen. Remus slipped off the bed and down the gently creaking stairs. He gripped his wand in his right hand and kept his back against the wall. He was afraid. His hands were shaking again and he kept all senses aware. He squinted and made out a dark figure near the door. Remus blinked and squinted again, bringing the figure into clearer focus. He knew the cloak, the stature.

"Goddamn it Severus," he hissed towards the shadow.

"Remus?"

"How the hell did you get in here?"

Severus lowered his hood as the grey figure in the distance came closer.

"Obviously not quietly enough."

Even in the dark, Severus could make out a seething glare.

"Are you going to keep coming back until I _do _actually set you loose amongst the Order?"

"It was all a setup."

Remus couldn't hide the look of confusion that crossed his face.

"It was never Draco who was to kill Dumbledore."

"What? Malfoy?"

Snape scoffed and sat Lupin on the nearest piece of furniture.

"Before term started, Narcissa came to me and asked me to make an Unbreakable Vow that I would protect Draco no matter what. He had been given the task to bring Death Eaters into Hogwarts and do away with Albus.

"I agreed, knowing that he would not be able to go through with it and would be killed. I didn't help him with his plan. I simply oversaw it."

"I don't see where this is going," Remus interrupted.

"That's because I haven't finished yet. Draco set the date when the Death Eaters would arrive. It perfectly coincided with a time that Dumbledore left the castle, despite Harry Potter who, undoubtedly asked his fleet of adoring fans to hold down the castle."

"The Order was there too. We thought you were on our side!"

"Don't raise your voice, the missus is sleeping."

Remus spoke through gritted teeth, "Continue."

"I heard the scrum outside and knew instantly what was going on. I rushed out of my office, trampling poor Filius, knowing exactly where Draco would be."

"You went to go help him _murder_ Albus!"

"No, I went to fulfill my Unbreakable Vow that I had _believed_ was placed on me. I knew Draco was struggling with the job and rushed to his side, if only to encourage him."

"Liar."

"Voldemort knew, Remus. He knew that with Narcissa's acting skills and the pathetic Malfoy boy, I was bound to kill him myself. He was testing me. Dumbledore knew it too, that's why he pleaded for me to do it. He died knowing I was loyal to him."

"Why didn't he fight? Why didn't he kill you first, you snake!"

"He was pale and weak. There was nothing he could have done to protect himself. Draco had managed to disarm him. He was helpless and slowly dying."

"So you just assisted him along his path? You've got to be kidding me!" he hissed in a harsh whisper.

"If I hadn't killed him, Voldemort would have killed me."

"At least we would still have hope."

"You still don't see. Dumbledore knew what was going on and died to protect my cover and your inside information. You need what I know to defeat the Dark Lord."

"Bull shit."

Remus was the closest he had ever been to Severus. Their eyes and lingering breaths held contempt bubbling at the surface. It was as if time had stopped. The house ticked like a bomb with silence.

At once the bomb went off. Remus pulled Severus' face to his with greedy hands. The taste of lips against lips was entrancing and he pulled closer, wrapping clawing fingers around Snape's neck. The potions master clung to the werewolf's body, running his palms along his muscled back.

Their heated embrace led them to forget the argument that brought about this tension. Remus gripped Severus' hair as the Slytherin pushed him against the wall by the stairs. He nibbled on the werewolf's skin behind his ear; his hot breath drove Remus wild. His greedy hands ran along his chest as he leaned his head back, exposing more of his neck to Severus' lips.

By the neck of his shirt, Severus threw Remus to the floor. Snape let his cloak fall to the ground before continuing where he left off. Lupin couldn't resist the feeling of his skin against his, he sighed. He parted Severus' lips with his own before pulling him closer by the small of his back. Severus choked back a moan.

Silently from the stairs behind, the small mousy haired woman Remus left in bed watched the two men squabble on the floor. She watched Remus quietly grunt and the dark haired traitor sigh against him. She was disgusted and heartbroken. It took everything in her power not to simply scream out. Instead she stood silent and watched, quiet tears slipping down her cheeks.

The dawn peaked through the curtains onto the graying hair of Remus Lupin. He yawned, stretching his arms above his head. The shirtless man next to him stirred and pulled the blanket closer. Remus brushed a lock of black hair from his face before slipping from his arms.

The air of the house was cool on his body as he slipped up the stairs. His stomach dropped as he found his room empty. Tonks had left. He let this fact settle in before the panic began to rise. She would tell the Order. She would tell everyone. The Order would never trust him again. He rushed back down the stairs.

"Severus get up."

Lupin slipped into his shirt he found on the floor and hopped around while pulling on his shoes.

"Severus!"

The partially naked man slowly sat up. "What, what's going on?"

"I have to leave and…do something," he said throwing on his coat. "You need to get out and hide."

"Hide?"

"Yes, lay as low as possible"

"But why?"

"How could I have been so stupid!" Lupin was pacing as Snape picked up his own clothes. "I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't have listened to _you _."

"Remus what is going on?"

Severus halted the man by force, gripping his shoulders.

"I have to tell the Order."

"Now?" he said, letting Remus go.

"Yes _now. _Because Tonks, "the missus" as you called her, is _gone_."

Severus' face went blank with understanding.

"I'll lay low for a week or so. I know a little town where no one asks questions. You," he paused, looking into his eyes. "You do what you have to do."

Remus' kiss lingered on his lips. "I will fix this."

Severus watched the faded man leave his home. It was a pity he truly loved him.

Remus nearly tripped up the stairs before bursting through the door of the small cottage with the perfect white picket fence.

"Minerva!"

The tall, thin professor came rushing around the corner.

"Remus! What is going on?"

He looked around the empty home. "Has Tonks been here?"

"No, I thought she was with you."

He fell into the nearest chair and sighed with relief. He let his breath return to a normal rate before helping to explain the puzzled look on McGonagall's face.

"You should sit down."

Minerva sat on the couch across from him, her gaze held fear. "What did you do?"

"I talked to Severus."

"You _talked _to him? Civilly?"

"Well, not civilly. But he had quite the convincing…argument. He found me after the last meeti—"

"_That _long ago! Good heavens Remus…"

"I know it seems odd. And I don't know why I didn't turn him in immediately. There was something holding me back, something that made me want to hear what he had to say."

"And what was that," Minerva huffed, completely disgusted.

"He was framed."

Severus strolled into the familiar house at the end of the skinny road.

"Shut up Peter," he said before the tiny man could utter a world. "I can wait as long as necessary."

Pettigrew bowed and flitted up the stairs. Snape poured a glass of the mysterious liquor that always adorned the nearest table. He sat on a chair and crossed his legs. It was always wonderful to gloat.

"He's ready, sir."

"Thank you, Wormtail," he sneered as he took to the stairs.

It was a different door that was cracked open and Severus glided in.

"Good evening, Severus," the snake-like voice of Voldemort said.

"My lord," he bowed. "I have wonderful news."

"Perfect."

"Does it not make perfect sense, Minerva?"

She passed a glare. "It does indeed, which is why I'm skeptical. Remus, he killed Albus. I can't roll over this easily and take him back. He's proven his side, and it's not ours."

"But it _is_ ours. Dumbledore knew the situation; he knew what the consequences were. We need what he knows."

She huffed again. "I never expected this out of you, Remus."

"What did you expect? Was I supposed to stay bitter and cold? Was I supposed to wrap myself up in depression?"

"That's not what I'm saying."

"We've always said, 'if he's good enough for Dumbledore, he's good enough for us'."

Minerva clamped her mouth tightly as to not say anything harsh.

"Will you help me convince the rest of the Order?"

"Remus took my bait easily. Last I saw him, he was running off to convince Minerva McGonagall."

He showed some semblance of a smile.

"It will be no time until I'm welcomed back, grudgingly no doubt, but welcomed back none the less."

Severus stretched out on an extremely cushy armchair. "What's next, my Lord?"

His devilish eyes glowed and his long fingers tapped on a small table.

"Kill him."

"What?" Snape choked, sitting up straight.

"Kill the werewolf."

"B-but he's my link to the Order, I need him to keep my cover."

"In due time, I'll be sending a crew into this Order of the Phoenix. You'll be the head, as you will know where they are hiding. I want mass destruction. I want this war to be over."

Snape's eyes narrowed and he pulled his emotions back in check.

"And you want me to kill Lupin."

"Indeed."

They shook on the deal.

Remus locked the door behind him and mechanically walked up the stairs. He was stopped by a shadow, his lips parted by theirs.

"I thought you were hiding," Remus sighed as Severus nibbled at his neck.

"I said that?" he said between kisses.

"It was an integral part of the plan," Remus nearly panted. "You can't be here."

Severus continued to kiss the Gryffindor's neck.

"The Order," he forced. "Is coming over."

Snape bit his ear.

"I'm s-serious," he said. Remus wished he could shut up. "In an h-hour."

"I'll be gone by then." Severus' hot breath brushed against his skin.

When the Order arrived, it was not an easy task to convince the group of Snape's new found goodness. Remus did a lot of shouting.

"Remus you can't just go and believe the man who killed Albus Dumbledore," Arthur Weasley protested.

"Do you not trust my judgment?"

"Are you really asking my opinion?" Arthur rose to face Remus.

"Stop this nonsense," a voice of reason called. "I…I believe him."

"Minerva, no!" Arthur cried.

"Yes Arthur," Minerva said. "You can't forget Albus' word."

The room exploded into an uproar.

Alastor Moody grumbled into the crowd. "The man was wrong on this one, I think."

He had a large number of the Order who seemed to agree with him.

"How can you say this!" Remus yelled, trying to rally the troops back to his side. "This is Albus Dumbledore we're talking about, the greatest wizard that ever lived. You can't believe that he made such a huge mistake."

"We all make poor judgments in character," Moody growled.

"Bull shit!"

The room flew into a rage once again.

"Severus Snape is a bad man, nothing can change that," Molly Weasley said.

"What would you have done in his position?"

"I would have never _been_ in his position."

"He's sleeping with him."

The room fell silent at the words and Remus' heart nearly hit the floor.

"What are you talking about Nymphadora?"

"I saw the two of them. Here, in this _house_."

Remus felt faint, he couldn't control his breathing. Everyone was looking for an answer. Hints of whispered accusations graced his ears.

"Remus?"

"This…this is absurd."

"So you're calling me a liar?" Tonks said, raising her voice.

Remus didn't know what to say. If he said yes, he would lose her. If he said no, he would admit to sleeping with Severus and lose her. The room filled with speculation and theories.

"I knew there was something deeper behind all of this!" Molly said. "And I was almost convinced!"

"Does this mean you have chosen a different side as well?" Arthur accused.

"What! No! This…I haven't done anything!"

"Liar!" Tonks shouted.

"You can't honestly believe I've switched sides!"

"I never saw it coming," Moody said. "But I can see right through you now." His magical eye swirled to lock onto Lupin.

"You have no evidence against me!"

"I'm a witness," Tonks reminded.

"_You_ have no proof either! Just because I won't love you the way you want me to doesn't mean I've gone off and slept with someone else!"

The room fell silent.

Tonks tried to hold back the angry tears that were sprouting in her eyes. "I could understand if you chose a life alone, but not with a murderer."

Molly placed a hand on her shoulder. "I think we're done here."

"I haven't chosen any life but the one I'm living! You don't know what you saw!"

"I don't?" she screamed.

Molly tried to calm the raging woman. "Calm yourself, dear. It's not worth it."

"Don't any of you believe him," she hissed before allowing Molly to whisk her into the kitchen.

Remus turned to face the rest of the group behind him. They stared in silence at the man on trial.

"I'd say we're done here," Arthur said.

"I can't believe you'd risk the integrity of the Order, Remus," McGonagall said. "And I can't believe I fell for it."

"You _believe_ her! You actually think I _slept _with Severus Snape!"

The group closed their mouths.

"Listen to the accusations you're making! It's completely absurd!"

"We're _done_ here," Arthur repeated.

"No please, just listen."

Arthur rallied the rest of the Order and Remus felt their distain as they passed him on their way out. When the door finally closed, he fell to his knees.

Severus returned to the small house on the corner later that night. It was pitch black outside, the stars were covered by clouds. He could smell that something had gone wrong.

"Remus?" he questioned, peaking his head through the completely unlocked door.

When there was no reply, he fully entered and drew his wand. The house was as dark as the night outside.

"Lumos."

He kept the light dim as he headed for the stairs. He was stopped halfway there by the sight of a crumpled man in the middle of the floor. He forced himself to stay emotionless before approaching him.

"Remus," he whispered. "What happened?"

"I've lost everything."

Severus kept his composure as he nuzzled the broken man's neck. He felt a pang of guilt when Remus turned away from him.

"I can't," he barely said.

"I can fix you."

Lupin found his voice, hoarse from the tears. "No, Severus. You broke me."

It became harder to suppress the feelings of misery that kept bubbling to the surface. He swallowed before speaking again.

"I can talk to them myself, Remus. Just tell me the next meeting place."

"They'll kill you."

"I have to try."

Remus wished he hadn't failed him. He wished he hadn't let this happen in the first place. One kiss had changed his entire life. Only when he thought he had hit the lowest he could go, he fell just one level lower. So low he may never get out.

"Promise me you won't let them kill you."

Severus didn't hesitate. "I promise."

"Tell me you'll stay with me."

"As long as I can."

For the first time Severus had told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. He found that his cold, black heart had some faded warmth left. It was small, and he loathed it, but it was there.

Remus allowed himself to be held in Severus' arms. He didn't care that it betrayed the single most important cause of his life. He didn't care that it forced him to lose everything. There was nothing else he could do.

Severus held his promises. He stayed with Remus most nights, only slipping away to check in with Voldemort. Time, however, was drawing to a close. The only distantly planned meeting Remus had been informed about was in three days. Severus had been nonchalantly gathering a group of Death Eaters and planning the raid.

"Come with me."

"I can't," Remus said. "I wouldn't know what to say. And to show up with you! It would only intensify their rage."

"You can't just stay away and think that everything will get better!"

"Well I certainly can't convince them through words!" he shouted. "It would be better if I didn't go."

"I beg to differ."

The two men quarreled often. Secretly they both knew they enjoyed it, which is why, it seems, they kept doing it.

"Will you come?"

Remus sighed. "I'll think about it."

Severus slipped away that night, visiting Voldemort one last time.

"My Lord, everything is nearly ready," Severus said in a low bow.

"Excellent. And the wolf?"

"He will be no trouble."

Voldemort's narrow eyes sparked with life.

"Now remember Severus, this is to be clean, efficient, and quick. There should be no time for people to wonder what's going on, no time for people to contact other wizards."

"Yes, my Lord."

Severus left the house uneasy. He tried to suppress the tense feeling in his stomach before he vanished.

Apparation on such a sick stomach did not bode well for Snape. He leaned against the outside wall of Lupin's house and tried to persuade his body to not make a fool of itself. He didn't want to face Remus looking as he did. He really didn't want to face Remus at all.

As the hours dwindled, it became harder for Severus to contemplate his job. He had spent weeks with Remus; weeks that almost made him forget it wasn't real. Severus found Remus in the kitchen.

"Thank you for agreeing to come with me," he said.

"You're very persuasive," Remus smirked.

Severus laughed. "It does seem to be a strong point."

Snape watched Remus put his shoes on and noticed how he always put the right one on first.

"You coming?"

Severus grudgingly put one foot in front of the other and followed Lupin out the door. He could sense Remus' uncertainties, they mirrored his own. For so long he had followed Voldemort's ruthless rules while hiding behind Dumbledore's supreme protection. He had always hidden. Severus had played his own game for so long he didn't know where he stood anymore. Dumbledore was dead. The Order was slowly dying.

Remus took the tall, dark man's hand. He tried to look at his face, but Severus made sure to hide it from his view.

He squeezed Remus' hand before forcing himself to let go. He wished he didn't have to hurt him.

"We'll apparate separately," he said. "I think that will be better."

Remus did not argue. "I'll see you there."

They vanished.

Snape arrived, not at the white picket fence of Minerva McGonagall's, instead outside the small town that was the headquarters for his evil half's life. There stood his crew of thirty-five Death Eaters, waiting.

"Let's go."

The group vanished with a single pop.

Remus was surprised not to see Severus outside of the small cottage he had stormed three weeks ago. He suddenly began to panic, afraid of an Order member arriving and seeing him outside of the house. The moments that seemed like hours vanished as the black cloak of Severus appeared next to him.

"Ready?"

Lupin nodded and followed Snape up to the door.

"Remus," Snape stopped. "You're going to have to trust me."

"What?"

"I need you to go inside and get the Order out."

"What are you talking about?"

"Trust me."

Remus swallowed. "Where do you want me to take them?"

"I don't care. Anywhere but here."

Remus was prepared to do as he was told. "What are you going to do?"

He hesitated. "Promise me you will get them out."

"Severus tel—"

"Tell my you'll do as I said!"

Remus nodded, he was afraid.

Severus stole a kiss. "Goodbye."

Remus felt his stomach lurch as the man he had grown to love vanished. He stood in shock and confusion. It felt as though he would never lay eyes on the Slytherin again.

"Remus?" a distantly familiar voice called. "What are you doing here?"

He faced Arthur Weasley. "I, You, We…we need to get the Order out of here."

"What are you tal—"

"I don't know. Just, please, help me move everyone somewhere else."

"You're not even supposed to be here."

The door of the house opened and Tonks peeked her head out. Her hair was a sleek red; it fell just above her shoulders.

"Remus?"

"Tonks," he said.

"What are you doing here?" She stepped fully from the house and joined the two men on the sidewalk.

"I…I don't think the Order is safe here." Remus needed to fabricate a story that didn't involve Severus Snape.

"Why? Have you heard something?" Arthur prodded.

Remus felt as though he was word vomiting. "Yes, I went to a pub a couple of nights back. It was a dodgy place. There were a few brutes in the back talking about a plan. They mentioned the field just north of here. I thought maybe a meeting place."

"We could go check it out. If it's just a couple of cooks, it wouldn't be too hard to take them down," Tonks said.

"I don't know. They…they talked like there was quite a group."

"You sure you heard them right, Remus?" Arthur asked.

"Clear as crystal. I was just one table over." Remus was nervous; he tried to stop himself from fiddling with his hands. He had no idea what Severus was up to and was worried about him.

"Come inside," Tonks said.

Her voice had a hint of the optimism that Remus fell for. He felt sorry for ever hurting her.

The room erupted in shouts of confusion when Remus and the other two walked through the door. He was surprised when Arthur stepped up to calm them.

"Remus has brought some news to our attention that, in these times, should not go unheeded."

After explaining himself again Remus finished with, "I just thought you'd like to know." He stared at his feet, embarrassed to be an outcast.

"How do we know he's not leading us straight to the Death Eaters?" a voice called.

Tonks grabbed Remus' arm and pulled back his robe to reveal clear skin on his forearm. "He's not a Death Eater. Don't be stupid."

"It would be simple to crowd into Number 12, no need to take a chance," the voice of reason said.

It seemed everyone succumbed to McGonagall's suggestion.

"I'll tell Harry we're on our way."

Don't worry about warning him; I'm sure he's not going to protest. The quicker you all get somewhere safe, the better."

Remus was becoming to get uneasy, he needed to get them out faster.

"Shhhh…"

The room was silenced. Faintly, Remus could hear rapid popping. One after another, witches and wizards arrived in the near vicinity.

"You have to leave now!"

"Why leave, they're already here. We should fight."

"We're outnumbered Tonks!"

"We have to face them sometime."

Remus felt his stomach contort as Severus Snape burst through the door, wand raised. The pair stared at each other, eyes wide with misunderstanding and fear. The rest of the room had their wands out. It was silent, save for the heavy breathing of the Death Eaters.

Severus couldn't believe his eyes. He should have stalled longer, he should have looked through a window or set up some kind of link with Remus. His entire plan was crashing down around him as all eyes bore into his soul.

No one moved. The first person to flick their wand would be the next one dead. It was a stand off, the one Severus tried to prevent. Now he couldn't even comfort Remus, he couldn't talk his way out of the position he was in. If he did, the Death Eaters would turn him into Voldemort. He could only imagine the pain, watching Remus point a wand at his heart.

"You lied to me."

Everyone faced the speaker.

"I risked everything for you and you lied," Remus said, stepping closer to the leader of the pack. "Thank God the Order saw through your façade that I managed to fall for."

Severus wanted to remind him that he tried to save them all just a half hour ago, but those words would be futile.

"This is a war, Remus."

"Then let it begin."

An invisible flag was waved and hundreds of spells flew across the room. Remus was paired with Severus, their faces held no mercy. McGonagall was faced with the large blond wizard again. Arthur seemed to be holding off the pair of twins. Remus wondered where Tonks was.

The noise was deafening; screaming and casting and cries of anguish melded with crashing and burning of the house around them. There was hardly enough room for them all to stand comfortably inside let alone entertain a full battle. Light flashed past everyone's heads, red and green streaks danced like Christmastime.

Remus heard a familiar scream that made his heart stop. He had no time to see if she was ok, Snape continued to throw wordless spells his way. They were becoming more difficult to deflect. Chaos was overcoming his mind, it was becoming nearly impossible to focus.

Snape paused when blood appeared on Remus' wand arm. The flicker of pain that he tried so hard to hide caught Severus off guard. He was a killer, and evil man. He wasn't meant to fall in love. Not once, not twice, never. Voldemort was only trying to make him stronger by taking away everything that would distract him from their undeniable victory.

"Are you going fight me?! Do you plan to kill me, Severus!"

"I will ask you the same question, wolf."

Their chests pressed together, their breath mingling as they spoke the heated words.

"How could you…"

Severus rammed Remus into the wall. The man's head snapped back and he fell limply in Severus' arms.

"Don't think I didn't try to protect you," he hissed. "Don't believe I wanted it to end this way."

It was as if time stopped. Remus forced his eyes upon Severus' face, the rest of the battle was unimportant. He felt the wand tip press into stomach. He had always wondered what it felt like to die, to be put out of his misery.

Severus held him as his eyes slowly closed.

"We're done here!" he bellowed above the chaos.

One by one, the Death Eaters vanished. The Order was broken, battered, and lost. It would take miracles to hold off another attack. The end was never so far away, yet never so soon to come. Minerva fell to her knees amongst her ruined house. There were precious few things left they could do. Moody gripped her shoulder as she wept.


End file.
